![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
- Location:home office
- Music:Won't you buy me a Mercedes Benz-Janis Johplin
I hope your Monster evenings are equally satisfying.
Liadan
Anyway, I can't cross anything off yet, but have made lots of progress.:
( Read more... )
- Location:home office
- Mood:
contemplative
For everyone who has a goal to visit Ireland, the above link will take you to a great Ireland deal. Hope this helps you.
Liadan
- Location:home office
- Music:I am awesome by the Dollyrots
13. Be more patient with mother (she’s so critical, ignores her health but complains all the time-drives me crazy)
Be careful what you wish for...
So, I've injured my back (my knee popped out and I fell). I can't get out of bed by myself, I've been laid up for over a week without much improvement. I have a doctor's appointment on Thursday. Anyway, my infirmity has me so incapitated that my mom has to take care of me. Its a sad state when she's the healthiest in the house <g>. So the shoe has been on the other foot. It has made me much more sympathetic to her. She's in her glory. She loves doing for folks.
Well, I've made progress on my reading, anyway.
Liadan
- Location:home office
- Mood:
aggravated
I thought you'd find this as moving as I did.
N
--------------------------------
Text of The Right Reverend V. Gene Robinson's blessing at Obama's We
Are One Inaugural Event:
"O God of our many understandings, we pray that you will bless us with
tears -- tears for a world in which over a billion people exist on
less than a dollar a day, where young women in many lands are beaten
and raped for wanting an education, and thousands die daily from
malnutrition, malaria, and AIDS.
Bless this nation with anger -- anger at discrimination, at home and
abroad, against refugees and immigrants, women, people of color, gay,
lesbian, bisexual, and transgender people.
Bless us with discomfort at the easy, simplistic answers we've
preferred to hear from our politicians, instead of the truth about
ourselves and our world, which we need to face if we are going to rise
to the challenges of the future.
Bless us with patience and the knowledge that none of what ails us
will be fixed anytime soon, and the understanding that our new
president is a human being, not a messiah.
Bless us with humility, open to understanding that our own needs as a
nation must always be balanced with those of the world.
Bless us with freedom from mere tolerance, replacing it with a genuine
respect and warm embrace of our differences.
Bless us with compassion and generosity, remembering that every
religion's God judges us by the way we care for the most vulnerable.
And God, we give you thanks for your child, Barack, as he assumes the
office of President of the United States.
Give him wisdom beyond his years, inspire him with President Lincoln's
reconciling leadership style, President Kennedy's ability to enlist
our best efforts, and Dr. King's dream of a nation for all people.
Give him a quiet heart, for our ship of state needs a steady, calm captain.
Give him stirring words; We will need to be inspired and motivated to
make the personal and common sacrifices necessary to facing the
challenges ahead.
Make him color-blind, reminding him of his own words that under his
leadership, there will be neither red nor blue states, but the United
States.
Help him remember his own oppression as a minority, drawing on that
experience of discrimination, that he might seek to change the lives
of those who are still its victims.
Give him strength to find family time and privacy, and help him
remember that even though he is president, a father only gets one shot
at his daughters' childhoods.
And please, God, keep him safe. We know we ask too much of our
presidents, and we're asking far too much of this one. We implore you,
O good and great God, to keep him safe. Hold him in the palm of your
hand, that he might do the work we have called him to do, that he
might find joy in this impossible calling, and that in the end, he
might lead us as a nation to a place of integrity, prosperity, and
peace. Amen."
PERSONAL IMPROVEMENT
1. Turn off TV more I've been doing this some, but not enough. Work harder!
2. Do items on health list
3. Go back to college
4. Take creative writing class (missed deadline for this session. :-()
5. Finish genealogy
6. Get two merit badges a year from the book “You Can Do It”
7. Learn to use computer for something other than a typewriter.
8. Make 101 list General Plan
9. Make 101 list Action Plan (how am I going to get all this accomplished?)
I've written down a few steps , still need to organize and plan more.
10. Pay more attention to Spiritual needs
11. Start journal
12. Get eight hours of sleep:
a. Up at 6 am, requires a ten pm bedtime (lights out at ten requires a 9pm in bed time) I've been doing pretty good here. I'm not getting to bed at 9, but I am going to bed earlier and it helps.
13. Be more patient with mother (she’s so critical, ignores her health but complains all the time-drives me crazy)
She's been in the hospital this week, maybe that will motivate herself to take better care of herself. Course this is the case of the pot calling the kettle black.
14. Take a Great Courses course
a. Choose a course, order it, watch or listen to it.
15. Relearn my Arabic (its been 20 years since I’ve spoken it, and so many here have expressed an interest in learning it, maybe we can group together)
HOME IMPROVEMENT
16. Restore Carriage House
a. Fire old contractor
b. Hire lawyer to get deposit back
c. write new contract and specifications so I won’t have a problem again
d. start calling new contractors to get bids
e. choose one and hire him/her
17. Learn to make own repairs instead of calling repairmen all the time
18. Get landscaping done
a. call landscaper and get bids
19. Get home garden together
20. Get backyard patio built
21. Get bedroom decorated and organized (I need a peaceful beautiful retreat.)
22. Get office organized
23. Keep with the laundry and ironing
COMMUNITY
24. Get Green committee back together
a. Send out e-mail notifying of meeting date.
25. Get all restaurants in area registered Green.
a. call Paul (the owner of the only green restaurant in town) to help
b. download Virginia Green requirements and send to all restaurants
c. find out how to replace styro-foam for take-outs
d. make appointment with restaurant owners to talk about this
26. Do another big green project
a. ask at meeting for ideas
27. Write about Arab-American discrimination
28. Run for office
29. Learn about our water here
a. join Chesapeake Bay foundation
30 Learn about our homeless here.
31. Save the Bees
a. put on a Bee Faire to raise money for research
32. Fight development
33. Take recyclables to the center
a. go every Monday (we don’t have curb pick-up here) Went today, not a Monday, but the first day i could go. (1-14-09)
RELATIONSHIPS
34. Have friends over once a mth (need to get space to do that first)
a Finish Carriage House and patio first
b. Have smaller gatherings till then
35. Make a larger circle of friends
36. Keep in touch with old friends
37. Get a divorce (I haven’t seen him in 12 years-what am I waiting for?)
38. Stay in better contact with my cousins (Sandy is coming over next week)
FUN
39. Read one fun book a week (Started "Chesapeke" by James Michner)
40. Take a class and learn something new
a. Register for John Adams class at local museum. (Went to first class tonight 1-14-08 and will be going for the next 7 weeks. They show an episode from the HBO series and we read the book at home. I didn't put the book down in my pleasure reading book because its for a class)
b. Register at Arts Center for Water Color Class
c. Register for chair making class at museum
41. Get a dog.
42. Train dog
43. Try to get on a reality home or self improvement show.
a. Take pictures of what I want fixed.
44. Cook more
45. Go to Egypt/Morocco/Tunis
46. Take daughter to Palestine
47. Help mom fill out Story of My Life book
48. Help mom make her family cook book
49. Read a 1001 Nights (hey, why not?)
a. Get the book!
50. Take a Tofurkey picture.
51. See more plays
52. See more international films
BUSINESS
53. Get website together
54. Get photos
55. Redo promotional material
56. Network
57. File receipts
58. Do taxes on time
59. See lawyer and get incorporated
60. Get a publication write up.
61. Improve online ratings
62. Learn call forwarding
62. Answer messages the same day.
64. 2009-double business from 2008
65. 2010-triple business from 2008
66. Look more presentable-wear makeup and more professional clothes My daughter took me shopping and did a mini makeover of my wardrobe and I've been making the effort to look more presentable. (Still looking good when in public. Still a slob for myself)
67. Make a profit!!!
68. Develop policy and procedures manual
69. Write business plan
FINANCES
70. Make a will
71. Make a living will
72. Write last wishes
73. Get all affairs in order-just in case.
74. Start retirement fund
75. Start savings account
76. Stop impulse spending
77. Cut expenses by at least 10%
78. Make Suze Orman proud of me
79. Find out credit score and improve it
80. Understand my finances
HEALTH
81. Get health insurance
82. Get physical
83. Get MRI and knee surgery
84. Lose 50 lbs.
85. Keep them off
86. Exercise three days a week min.
87. Get teeth fixed.
88. See dentist twice a year.
GENERAL
89. Finish stained glass gift
90. Make a chair
91. Get something published (besides a letter to editor)
92. Find out how to do lj cuts DONE!!!
93. Unpack all boxes (I’ve lived here two years now, for gosh sakes)
94. Stop letting things go…If I’m cheated, abused, insulted, taken advantage of-SPEAK
UP and DO SOMETHING!
Somehow I project this quiet amiable personsona. My aura says VICTIM in neon letters. I attract male abusers and I'm sick of it. The current crop are contractors who work at my house. I'm a woman alone and they think they can take advantage of me. They do sloppy work, overcharge, and generally feel they can take advantage of me. No More! ok-here are my current abusers:
a. my contractor for Carriage House. He never listens to me. I wanted my House wheel chair accessible. He didn't do that. I have to redo what he's done. He ordered the wrong doors. He destroyed the front of the House and lost its historical character. I have to redo the front. And he's mad at me for not accepting his mistakes! He says I keep changing my mind about things...NO, I've stayed the same on what I want, he just doesn't listen, so when he does it wrong, somehow its me changing my mind. ugh
b. Former lawn care guy. He broke my water pipe and cut power lines with his trimmer. Again, somehow this is my fault. I deducted the cost of repairs from his bill and paid the rest. Now he's suing me for three times the balance...almost a year later. grr.
95.
96. Stop procrastinating or being wimpy.
97. Do something crazy and out of character.
98. Get out more
Here's the part that fascinates me: How has society changed to accomodate their newest members? What about inheritance rights? When the person dies and becomes a vampire, does he still own it or does it pass to his heirs? How do they shop, since most shops close at night? How do they travel safely? (Anubis Airlines solves that problem with special travel arrangements for vampires) What hotels do they stay in? Maids clean during the day. How do they date humans? What happens to religious beliefs? Charlotte Harris works out all these little details that makes her novels so rich in scope.
The whole series is filled with humor. It has the flavor of Buffy the Vampire killer, instead of the Anne Rice gloom and doom. I think this is the best Vampire series ever. I love the characters so much. Bill, a civil war era vampire gives lectures to the Daughters of the American Confederacy and is working on a computer program. He dates Sookie. Eric is Bill's superior and is a former Viking. He wants to use Sookies telepathic abilities for his own benefit. Pam is Eric's second in command and tho she hails from the Victorian era, she loves pastel sweater sets and looks like a soccor mom. Pam and Eric own the bar, Fangtasia. Unfortunately something keeps happening to their bartenders. Jason, Sookies brother, is a horn dog with a new girl friend each night. Bubba, a sweet good old boy with a remarkable singing voice. Is he an Elvis impersonator or is he...no, couldn't be! And the eroticism is pretty good, not sleezy at all.
HBO turned this series of books into a TV series. it's a good series and Sookie is perfectly cast. However, as usual, I enjoyed the books so much more. I cannot wait for the next books to come out.
100. Read all my financial books
101. Finish library
</lj-cut>
- Location:home office
- Mood:
cheerful - Music:American Idol Auditions
PERSONAL IMPROVEMENT
1. Turn off TV more I've been doing this some, but not enough. Work harder!
2. Do items on health list
3. Go back to college
4. Take creative writing class
5. Finish genealogy
6. Get two merit badges a year from the book “You Can Do It”
7. Learn to use computer for something other than a typewriter.
8. Make 101 list General Plan
9. Make 101 list Action Plan (how am I going to get all this accomplished?)
I've written down a few steps , still need to organize and plan more.
10. Pay more attention to Spiritual needs
11. Start journal
12. Get eight hours of sleep:
a. Up at 6 am, requires a ten pm bedtime (lights out at ten requires a 9pm in bed time) I've been doing pretty good here. I'm not getting to bed at 9, but I am going to bed earlier and it helps.
13. Be more patient with mother (she’s so critical, ignores her health but complains all the time-drives me crazy)
She's been in the hospital this week, maybe that will motivate herself to take better care of herself. Course this is the case of the pot calling the kettle black.
14. Take a Great Courses course
a. Choose a course, order it, watch or listen to it.
15. Relearn my Arabic (its been 20 years since I’ve spoken it, and so many here have expressed an interest in learning it, maybe we can group together)
HOME IMPROVEMENT
16. Restore Carriage House
a. Fire old contractor
b. Hire lawyer to get deposit back
c. write new contract and specifications so I won’t have a problem again
d. start calling new contractors to get bids
e. choose one and hire him/her
17. Learn to make own repairs instead of calling repairmen all the time
18. Get landscaping done
a. call landscaper and get bids
19. Get home garden together
20. Get backyard patio built
21. Get bedroom decorated and organized (I need a peaceful beautiful retreat.)
22. Get office organized
23. Keep with the laundry and ironing
COMMUNITY
24. Get Green committee back together
a. Send out e-mail notifying of meeting date.
25. Get all restaurants in area registered Green.
a. call Paul (the owner of the only green restaurant in town) to help
b. download Virginia Green requirements and send to all restaurants
c. find out how to replace styro-foam for take-outs
d. make appointmenst with restaurant owners to talk about this
26. Do another big green project
a. ask at meeting for ideas
27. Write about Arab-American discrimination
28. Run for office
29. Learn about our water here
a. join Chesapeake Bay foundation
30 Learn about our homeless here.
31. Save the Bees
a. put on a Bee Faire to raise money for research
32. Fight development
33. Take recyclables to the center
a. go every Monday (we don’t have curb pick-up here)
RELATIONSHIPS
34. Have friends over once a mth (need to get space to do that first)
a Finish Carriage House and patio first
b. Have smaller gatherings till then
35. Make a larger circle of friends
36. Keep in touch with old friends
37. Get a divorce (I haven’t seen him in 12 years-what am I waiting for?)
38. Stay in better contact with my cousins
FUN
39. Read one fun book a week
40. Take a class and learn something new
a. Register for John Adams class at local museum.
b. Register at Arts Center for Water Color Class
c. Register for chair making class at museum
41. Get a dog.
42. Train dog
43. Try to get on a reality home or self improvement show.
a. Take pictures of what I want fixed.
44. Cook more
45. Go to Egypt/Morocco/Tunis
46. Take daughter to Palestine
47. Help mom fill out Story of My Life book
48. Help mom make her family cook book
49. Read a 1001 Nights (hey, why not?)
a. Get the book!
50. Take a Tofurkey picture.
51. See more plays
52. See more international films
BUSINESS
53. Get website together
54. Get photos
55. Redo promotional material
56. Network
57. File receipts
58. Do taxes on time
59. See lawyer and get incorporated
60. Get a publication write up.
61. Improve online ratings
62. Learn call forwarding
62. Answer messages the same day.
64. 2009-double business from 2008
65. 2010-triple business from 2008
66. Look more presentable-wear makeup and more professional clothes My daughter took me shopping and did a mini makeover of my wardrobe and I've been making the effort to look more presentable.
67. Make a profit!!!
68. Develop policy and procedures manual
69. Write business plan
FINANCES
70. Make a will
71. Make a living will
72. Write last wishes
73. Get all affairs in order-just in case.
74. Start retirement fund
75. Start savings account
76. Stop impulse spending
77. Cut expenses by at least 10%
78. Make Suze Orman proud of me
79. Find out credit score and improve it
80. Understand my finances
HEALTH
81. Get health insurance
82. Get physical
83. Get MRI and knee surgery
84. Lose 50 lbs.
85. Keep them off
86. Exercise three days a week min.
87. Get teeth fixed.
88. See dentist twice a year.
GENERAL
89. Finish stained glass gift
90. Make a chair
91. Get something published (besides a letter to editor)
92. Find out how to do lj cuts DONE!!!
93. Unpack all boxes (I’ve lived here two years now, for gosh sakes)
94. Stop letting things go…If I’m cheated, abused, insulted, taken advantage of-SPEAK
UP and DO SOMETHING!
Somehow I project this quiet amiable personsona. My aura says VICTIM in neon letters. I attract male abusers and I'm sick of it. The current crop are contractors who work at my house. I'm a woman alone and they think they can take advantage of me. They do sloppy work, overcharge, and generally feel they can take advantage of me. No More! ok-here are my current abusers:
a. my contractor for Carriage House. He never listens to me. I wanted my House wheel chair accessible. He didn't do that. I have to redo what he's done. He ordered the wrong doors. He destroyed the front of the House and lost its historical character. I have to redo the front. And he's mad at me for not accepting his mistakes! He says I keep changing my mind about things...NO, I've stayed the same on what I want, he just doesn't listen, so when he does it wrong, somehow its me changing my mind. ugh
b. Former lawn care guy. He broke my water pipe and cut power lines with his trimmer. Again, somehow this is my fault. I deducted the cost of repairs from his bill and paid the rest. Now he's suing me for three times the balance...almost a year later. grr.
95.
96. Stop procrastinating or being wimpy.
97. Do something crazy and out of character.
98. Get out more
Here's the part that fascinates me: How has society changed to accomodate their newest members? What about inheritance rights? When the person dies and becomes a vampire, does he still own it or does it pass to his heirs? How do they shop, since most shops close at night? How do they travel safely? (Anubis Airlines solves that problem with special travel arrangements for vampires) What hotels do they stay in? Maids clean during the day. How do they date humans? What happens to religious beliefs? Charlotte Harris works out all these little details that makes her novels so rich in scope.
The whole series is filled with humor. It has the flavor of Buffy the Vampire killer, instead of the Anne Rice gloom and doom. I think this is the best Vampire series ever. I love the characters so much. Bill, a civil war era vampire gives lectures to the Daughters of the American Confederacy and is working on a computer program. He dates Sookie. Eric is Bill's superior and is a former Viking. He wants to use Sookies telepathic abilities for his own benefit. Pam is Eric's second in command and tho she hails from the Victorian era, she loves pastel sweater sets and looks like a soccor mom. Pam and Eric own the bar, Fangtasia. Unfortunately something keeps happening to their bartenders. Jason, Sookies brother, is a horn dog with a new girl friend each night. Bubba, a sweet good old boy with a remarkable singing voice. Is he an Elvis impersonator or is he...no, couldn't be! And the eroticism is pretty good, not sleezy at all.
HBO turned this series of books into a TV series. it's a good series and Sookie is perfectly cast. However, as usual, I enjoyed the books so much more. I cannot wait for the next books to come out.
100. Read all my financial books
101. Finish library
- Location:home
- Mood: accomplished
- Music:Seinfeld theme
I'm too upset to write more. Its the end of many things for me and for Palestine. No one reads my journal. I mourn alone.
Liadan
- Location:home
- Mood:
depressed
----------------------------------------
What does Success mean to an INFJ?
People with the INFJ personality type are intense and perfectionistic. They have deep insights into many aspects of life, and usually have very high standards for their own understanding and accomplishments, as well as those of others. They are service-oriented and empathetic to other individuals. The INFJ strives for the ideal in every aspect of their life. An INFJ's feeling of success is centered around their own level of understanding and accomplishment, their usefulness or service to others, and the condition of their personal relationships. The INFJ feels successful when they haved used their very deep understanding of something to do a real service for someone. We often see INFJ personality types as counsellors and teachers, or in the medical and health fields.
Allowing Your INFJ Strengths to Flourish
As an INFJ, you have gifts that are specific to your personality type that aren't natural strengths for other types. By recognizing your special gifts and encouraging their growth and development, you will more readily see your place in the world, and be more content with your role.
Nearly all INFJs will recognize the following characteristics in themselves. They should embrace and nourish these strengths:
They're extremely insightful, and see things that are not obvious to others. This ability to see patterns and meanings in the world can help the INFJ in many different ways. INFJs usually have a great deal of insight into different people and situations.
When given a goal or context, an INFJ is able to generate all kinds of possibilities. They're able to see the problem from many different angles.
They understand how others are feeling, and are genuinely concerned with others. This natural empathy and caring helps to be really effective at helping others through problems. In this manner, they make great friends, counselors, teachers, and mates.
An INFJ has a "stick to it" attitude. They're not afraid of hard work, and will put forth a great deal of effort towards something that they believe in. This persistence will help the INFJ to achieve an identified goal.
Perfectionistic and idealistic, they always strive for the best.
Usually intelligent and able to concentrate and focus, the INFJ can usually grasp difficult ideas and concepts.
INFJs who have a well-developed Extraverted Feeling function to complement their dominant Introverted iNtuition will enjoy these very special gifts:
They can turn their insightful understanding about a situation into a successful plan of action.
The INFJ with well-developed judgment will be able to grasp and process concepts that are beyond what their natural intelligence appears to be able to handle.
They may achieve a level of understanding that makes them appear wise.
The INFJ's perfectionism and idealism, when combined with their empathy and genuine concern for others, can cause them to be true servants for people in some fashion. They may be great doctors or ministers or counselors. If they have also achieved a good amount of life wisdom, they can become powerful forces, such as Jesus (INFJ) and Mahatma Ghandi (INFJ).
Potential Problem Areas
With any gift of strength, there is an associated weakness. Without "bad", there would be no "good". Without "difficult", there would be no "easy". We value our strengths, but we often curse and ignore our weaknesses. To grow as a person and get what we want out of life, we must not only capitalize upon our strengths, but also face our weaknesses and deal with them. That means taking a hard look at our personality type's potential problem areas.
INFJs are rare and intelligent people with many special gifts. This should be kept in mind as you read some of the more negative material about INFJ weaknesses. Remember that these weaknesses are natural. We offer this information to enact positive change, rather than as blatant criticism. We want you to grow into your full potential, and be the happiest and most successful person that you can become.
Most of the weaker characteristics that are found in INFJs are due to their dominant function (Introverted iNtuition) overtaking their personality to the point that the other forces in their personality exist merely to serve the purposes of Introverted iNtuition. In such cases, an INFJ may show some or all of the following weaknesses in varying degrees:
May be unaware (and sometimes uncaring) of how they come across to others
May quickly dismiss input from others without really considering it
May apply their judgment more often towards others, rather than towards themselves
With their ability to see an issue from many sides, they may always find others at fault for any problems in their lives
May have unrealistic and/or unreasonable expectations of others
May be intolerant of weaknesses in others
May believe that they're always right
May be obsessive and passionate about details that may be unimportant to the big picture
May be cuttingly derisive and sarcastic towards others
May have an intense and quick temper
May be tense, wound up, have high blood pressure and find it difficult to relax
May hold grudges, and have difficulty forgiving people
May be wishy-washy and unsure how to act in situations that require quick decision making
May have difficulty communicating their thoughts and feelings to others
May see so many tangents everywhere that they can't stay focused on the bottom line or the big picture
Explanation of Problems
Most of the problems described above are a result of Introverted iNtuition overtaking the INFJ's personality to the point that all of the other functions become slaves to Introverted iNtuition. A healthy personality needs to have a good balance between its dominant and auxiliary functions. For an INFJ, the dominant Introverted iNtuition needs to be well-supported by the auxiliary Extraverted Feeling function. If Extraverted Feeling exists only to support the desires of Introverted iNtuition, then neither function is being used to its potential.
Introverted iNtuition is a personality function that constantly gathers information, and sees everything from many different perspectives. As the dominant player in a personality, it has the effect of constantly bombarding the psyche with new information to consider. Introverted iNtuition is sort of like a framework for understanding that exists in the mind. As something is perceived, it is melded into the existing intuitive framework. If an entirely new piece of information is perceived by the Introverted iNtuitive, that person must redefine their entire framework of reference. So, Introverted iNtuitives are constantly taking in information about the world that needs to be processed in a relatively lengthy manner in order to be understood. That presents quite a challenge to the INFJ. It's not unusual for an INFJ to feel overwhelmed with all of the things that he or she needs to consider in order to fully understand an idea or situation.
When Introverted iNtuition dominates the INFJ such that the other functions cannot serve their own purposes, we find the INFJ cutting off information that it needs to consider. If the psyche is presented with information that looks anything like something that Introverted iNtuition has processed in the past, it uses Extraverted Feeling to quickly reject that information. The psyche uses Extraverted Feeling to reject the ideas, rather than taking the information into its intuitive framework, and therefore potentially causing that framework to be reshaped and redefined.
Using Extraverted Feeling in this manner may effectively serve the immediate needs of Introverted iNtuition, but it is not ideal. It causes the INFJ to not consider information that may be useful or criticial in developing a real understanding of an issue. It may cause the INFJ to come off as too strongly opinionated or snobbish to others.
The better use of Extraverted Feeling for an INFJ would be to use it to assess the INFJ's rich insights and weigh them against the external world. When the INFJ personality uses Extraverted Feeling to cut off incoming information, rather than to judge internal intuitions, it is effectively cheating itself. It's like getting the answers to a test without having to really understand the questions. It's easier to get the answer right away, rather than to have to figure everything out. For the INFJ, who has a tremendous amount of information and "studying" that needs to be done, it's very tempting to take shortcuts. Most INFJs will do this to some extent. The real problems occur when an INFJ personality has become so imbalanced that its owner is extremely self-important and rarely consider anyone else's opinions or ideas.
Solutions
To grow as an individual, the INFJ needs to focus on applying their judgment to things only after they have gone through their intuition. In other words, the INFJ needs to consciously try not to use their judgment to dismiss ideas prematurely. Rather, they should use their judgment against their own ideas. One cannot effectively judge something that they don't understand. The INFJ needs to take things entirely into their intuition in order to understand them. It may be neccesary to give your intuition enough time to work through the new information so that it can rebuild its global framework of understanding. INFJs need to focus on using their judgment not to dismiss ideas, but rather to support their intuitive framework.
An INFJ who is concerned with personal growth will pay close attention to the subject of their judgments, and their motivation for making judgments. Are they judging something external to themself, or are they judging something that they have sifted through their intuition? Is the motivation for judging something to be able to understand its usefulness in the world, or to dismiss it? Too often, an INFJ will judge something without properly understanding it, and with the intention of dismissing it. Seek first to understand, then to judge.
Living Happily in our World as an INFJ
Some INFJs have difficulty fitting into our society. Their problems are generally associated with not knowing (or caring) how they come across to others, and with having unreasonable expectations for others' behaviors. Both of these issues stem from using Extraverted Feeling primarily to dismiss external ideas, rather than to sort through their own intuitions.
An INFJ who uses Extraverted Feeling in this diminished manner may become so strongly opinionated that they form rigid and unreasonable expectations for others. They may feel so strongly about things that they become very passionate and agitated when they feel that something has gone wrong. In these cases, it's not uncommon for the INFJ to express their displeasure with biting sarcasm. They become so emotionally upset that they are generally not aware of how their behavior comes across to others. Even if the consequences of their attitude and behavior is pointed out to them, they may be agitated to the point that they don't care. This kind of situation can be devastating to the INFJ on many levels, and should be avoided. There isn't much that can be done once the INFJ has reached the point where they are too upset to care about others, but the INFJ can prevent this problem from occuring by ensuring that they never get to that point.
How can you, as an INFJ, ensure that you won't get that upset? It probably seems to you that these kinds of upsets are caused by external circumstances and situations. Well, that's not really true. It's true that things will happen over which you have no control. But you certainly have control over how you perceive these things, or more appropriately, how you *judge* these things.
Specific suggestions:
Take care to listen to someone's idea entirely before you pass judgment on it. Ask questions if neccesary. Do whatever it takes to make sure that you understand the idea. Try not to begin judging anything about the idea until you have understood it entirely.
Before you begin talking to another person, pause for a moment and look at that person. Take in that person's attitude and feelings at that moment. Be aware of the person with whom you're speaking.
If you become upset, walk away immediately. DO NOT express anger. When you get angry, you lose. After you have calmed down, apologize for leaving and continue with what you were doing.
Try to identify the personality type of everyone that you encounter frequently in your life. Remember that people with the Sensing preference need to be communicated with in a direct, concise manner. Speak plainly and simply with Sensors, giving "yes" or "no" answers.
Try to be on good terms with all people, even those that you consider beneath you. Try to understand that everybody has something to offer.
Ten Rules to Live By to Achieve INFJ Success
Feed Your Strengths! Do things that allow your brilliant intuition and service-oriented manner to flourish.
Face Your Weaknesses! See your weaknesses for what they are, and seek to overcome them. Especially, strive to use your judgment against your internal ideas and intuitions, rather than as a means of disregarding other people's ideas.
Talk Through Your Thoughts. You need to step through your intuitions in order to put them into perspective. Give yourself time to do this, and take advantage of discussing ideas with others. You'll find externalizing your internal intuitions to be a valuable exercise.
Take in Everything. Don't dismiss ideas prematurely because you don't respect the person generating the ideas, or because you think you already know it all. After all, everybody has something to offer, and nobody knows everything. Steven Covey says it so well when he says: "Seek first to understand, and then to be understood."
When You Get Angry, You Lose. Your passion and intensity are strong assets, but can be very harmful if you allow yourself to fall into the "Anger Trap". Remember that Anger is destructive to your personal relationships. Work through your anger before you impress it upon others, or you will likely find yourself alone. Disagreements and disappointments can only be handled effectively in a non-personal and dispassionate manner.
Keep Your Eye on the Big Picture Watch out for your tendency to become obsessed with details. If you find yourself feeling very, very strongly about a small detail, take a big step back and make sure that you can still see the goal. You're not going to get there if you get mired in the details.
Be Accountable for Yourself. Don't blame the problems in your life on other people. Look inwardly for solutions. No one has more control over your life than you have.
Be Humble. Judge yourself at least as harshly as you judge others.
Assume the Best. Don't distress yourself and others by dwelling on the dark side of everything. Just as there is a positive charge for every negative charge, there is a light side to every dark side. Remember that positive situations are created by positive attitudes. Expect the best, and the best will come forward.
Relax! Do yourself a favor and learn how to effectively unwind. Get exercise and restful sleep. Take vacations. Engage in relaxing activities. Take care of yourself and your loved ones by learning to let go of your passion and intensity for a respite.
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INFJs are warm and affirming people who are usually also deep and complex. They're likely to seek out and promote relationships that are intense and meaningful. They tend to be perfectionists, and are always striving for the Ultimate Relationship. For the most part, this is a positive feature, but sometimes works against the INFJ if they fall into the habit of moving from relationship to relationship, always in search of a more perfect partner. In general, the INFJ is a deeply warm and caring person who is highly invested in the health of their close relationships, and puts forth a lot of effort to make them positive. They are valued by those close to them for these special qualities. They seek long-term, lifelong relationships, although they don't always find them.
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INFJ Strengths
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Warm and affirming by nature
Dedicated to achieving the ultimate relationship
Sensitive and concerned for others' feelings
Usually have good communication skills, especially written
Take their commitments very seriously, and seek lifelong relationships
Have very high expectations for themselves and others (both a strength and weakness)
Good listeners
Are able to move on after a relationship has ended (once they're sure it's over)
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INFJ Weaknesses
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Tendency to hold back part of themselves
Not good with money or practical day-to-day life necessities
Extreme dislike of conflict and criticism
Have very high expectations for themselves and others (both a strength and weakness)
Have difficulty leaving a bad relationship
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INFJs as Lovers
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"To love means to open ourselves to the negative as well as the positive - to grief, sorrow, and disappointment as well as to joy, fulfillment, and an intensity of consciousness we did not know was possible before." -- Rollo May
INFJs are warm, considerate partners who feel great depth of love for their partners. They enjoy showing this love, and want to receive affirmation back from their mates.
They are perfectionists, constantly striving to achieve the Perfect Relationship. This can sometimes be frustrating to their mates, who may feel put upon by the INFJs demanding perfectionism. However, it may also be greatly appreciated, because it indicates a sincere commitment to the relationship, and a depth of caring which is not usually present in other types.
Sexually, INFJs view intimacy as a nearly spiritual experience. They embrace the opportunity to bond heart and soul with their mates. As service-oriented individuals, it's very important to them that their mates are happy. Intimacy is an opportunity for the INFJ to selflessly give their love, and experience it in a tangible way.
Although two well-developed individuals of any type can enjoy a healthy relationship, INFJ's natural partner is the ENTP, or the ENFP. INFJ's dominant function of Introverted Intuition is best matched with a personality type that is dominated by Extraverted Intuition. How did we arrive at this?
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INFJs as Parents
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"You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth...
Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable." -- Kahlil Gibran
INFJs usually make warm and caring parents. Their goal is to help their children become adults who know the difference between right and wrong, and who are independent, growth-oriented individuals.
Along the path to that goal they are generally very warm and caring, and are likely to treat their children as individuals who have a voice in family decisions. They want their children to be able to think for themselves, and make the right decisions. They also can be quite demanding on their children, and may have very high expectations for their behavior. Although they are generally soft-spoken and gentle, they may become stubborn and sharp-tongued at times when their expectations aren't met, or when under a lot of stress.
INFJs take their parenting role with ultimate seriousness. They will make sacrifices for the sake of their children without a second thought, and without remorse. Passing on their values to their children is a serious priority in their lives. Children of INFJs remember their parents fondly as warm, patient, and inspirational.
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INFJs as Friends
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Although the INFJ is likely to put friends behind their God and their families in terms of importance, they do value their friendships. As idealists who have strong value systems, INFJs seek authenticity and depth in their close relationships, and especially value people who can see and appreciate the INFJ for who they are and what they stand for.
The INFJ is likely to spend a lot of time socialing with family members. If they are religious, they probably are social with members of their religious community. After that, the INFJ may have friends represented from any of the personality types. They are usually extremely intuitive individuals, who will have no patience for anyone they feel is dishonest or corrupt. They'll have no interest in being around these kinds of people.
All kinds of people are drawn towards the INFJ. They are usually quite popular, although they may be unaware of it themselves, because they don't place a lot of importance on it.
The INFJ is valued by their close friends for their warmth and consideration, their new and interesting ways of looking at things, and for their ability to inspire and motivate others to be the best that they can be. genuine article that they are.
- Location:home
- Mood: contemplative
33% Extraversion, 60% Intuition, 40% Thinking, 53% Judging
Well, well, well. How did someone like you end up with the least common personality type of them all? In a group of 100 Americans, only 0.5 others would be just like you. You really are one of a kind... In fact, I do believe that that's one of the definitions for the word "FREAK."
Freak's not such a bad word to describe you actually.
You are deep, complex, secretive and extremely difficult to understand. If that doesn't scream "Freak!" I don't know what does. No-one actually knows the REAL you, do they?
You probably have deep interests in creative expression as well as issues of spirituality and human development.
You've probably even been called a "psychic" before, because of your uncanny knack to understand and "read" people without quite knowing how you do it. Don't fret. You're not actually psychic. That would make you special and you'll never accomplish that.
You're also quite possible the most emotional of them all, so don't take this all too hard. Nevertheless you most definitely have the strangest personality type and that's not necessarily a good thing.
Introverted iNtuitive Feeling Judging
by Joe Butt Profile: INFJ
Revision: 3.01
Date of Revision: 6 Mar 2005
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Beneath the quiet exterior, INFJs hold deep convictions about the weightier matters of life. Those who are activists -- INFJs gravitate toward such a role -- are there for the cause, not for personal glory or political power.
INFJs are champions of the oppressed and downtrodden. They often are found in the wake of an emergency, rescuing those who are in acute distress. INFJs may fantasize about getting revenge on those who victimize the defenseless. The concept of 'poetic justice' is appealing to the INFJ.
"There's something rotten in Denmark." Accurately suspicious about others' motives, INFJs are not easily led. These are the people that you can rarely fool any of the time. Though affable and sympathetic to most, INFJs are selective about their friends. Such a friendship is a symbiotic bond that transcends mere words.
INFJs have a knack for fluency in language and facility in communication. In addition, nonverbal sensitivity enables the INFJ to know and be known by others intimately.
Writing, counseling, public service and even politics are areas where INFJs frequently find their niche.
Functional Analysis:
Introverted iNtuition
Introverted intuitives, INFJs enjoy a greater clarity of perception of inner, unconscious processes than all but their INTJ cousins. Just as SP types commune with the object and "live in the here and now" of the physical world, INFJs readily grasp the hidden psychological stimuli behind the more observable dynamics of behavior and affect. Their amazing ability to deduce the inner workings of the mind, will and emotions of others gives INFJs their reputation as prophets and seers. Unlike the confining, routinizing nature of introverted sensing, introverted intuition frees this type to act insightfully and spontaneously as unique solutions arise on an event by event basis.
Extraverted Feeling
Extraverted feeling, the auxiliary deciding function, expresses a range of emotion and opinions of, for and about people. INFJs, like many other FJ types, find themselves caught between the desire to express their wealth of feelings and moral conclusions about the actions and attitudes of others, and the awareness of the consequences of unbridled candor. Some vent the attending emotions in private, to trusted allies. Such confidants are chosen with care, for INFJs are well aware of the treachery that can reside in the hearts of mortals. This particular combination of introverted intuition and extraverted feeling provides INFJs with the raw material from which perceptive counselors are shaped.
Introverted Thinking
The INFJ's thinking is introverted, turned toward the subject. Perhaps it is when the INFJ's thinking function is operative that he is most aloof. A comrade might surmise that such detachment signals a disillusionment, that she has also been found lacking by the sardonic eye of this one who plumbs the depths of the human spirit. Experience suggests that such distancing is merely an indication that the seer is hard at work and focusing energy into this less efficient tertiary function.
Extraverted Sensing
INFJs are twice blessed with clarity of vision, both internal and external. Just as they possess inner vision which is drawn to the forms of the unconscious, they also have external sensing perception which readily takes hold of worldly objects. Sensing, however, is the weakest of the INFJ's arsenal and the most vulnerable. INFJs, like their fellow intuitives, may be so absorbed in intuitive perceiving that they become oblivious to physical reality. The INFJ under stress may fall prey to various forms of immediate gratification. Awareness of extraverted sensing is probably the source of the "SP wannabe" side of INFJs. Many yearn to live spontaneously; it's not uncommon for INFJ actors to take on an SP (often ESTP) role.
Famous INFJs:
Nathan, prophet of Israel
Aristophanes
Chaucer
Goethe
Robert Burns, Scottish poet
U.S. Presidents:
Martin Van Buren
James Earl "Jimmy" Carter
Nathaniel Hawthorne
Fanny Crosby, (blind) hymnist
Mother Teresa of Calcutta
Fred McMurray (My Three Sons)
Shirley Temple Black, child actor, ambassador
Martin Luther King, Jr., civil rights leader, martyr
James Reston, newspaper reporter
Shirley McClain (Sweet Charity, ...)
Piers Anthony, author ("Xanth" series)
Michael Landon (Little House on the Prairie)
Tom Selleck
John Katz, critic, author
Paul Stookey (Peter, Paul and Mary)
U. S. Senator Carol Moseley-Braun (D-IL)
Billy Crystal
Garry Trudeau (Doonesbury)
Nelson Mandela
Mel Gibson
Carrie Fisher
Nicole Kidman
Jamie Foxx
Sela Ward
Mark Harmon
Gary Dourdan
Marg Helgaberger
Evangeline Lilly
Tori May
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Introverted iNtuiting Feeling Judging
by Marina Margaret Heiss
INFJs are distinguished by both their complexity of character and the unusual range and depth of their talents. Strongly humanitarian in outlook, INFJs tend to be idealists, and because of their J preference for closure and completion, they are generally "doers" as well as dreamers. This rare combination of vision and practicality often results in INFJs taking a disproportionate amount of responsibility in the various causes to which so many of them seem to be drawn.
INFJs are deeply concerned about their relations with individuals as well as the state of humanity at large. They are, in fact, sometimes mistaken for extroverts because they appear so outgoing and are so genuinely interested in people -- a product of the Feeling function they most readily show to the world. On the contrary, INFJs are true introverts, who can only be emotionally intimate and fulfilled with a chosen few from among their long-term friends, family, or obvious "soul mates." While instinctively courting the personal and organizational demands continually made upon them by others, at intervals INFJs will suddenly withdraw into themselves, sometimes shutting out even their intimates. This apparent paradox is a necessary escape valve for them, providing both time to rebuild their depleted resources and a filter to prevent the emotional overload to which they are so susceptible as inherent "givers." As a pattern of behavior, it is perhaps the most confusing aspect of the enigmatic INFJ character to outsiders, and hence the most often misunderstood -- particularly by those who have little experience with this rare type.
Due in part to the unique perspective produced by this alternation between detachment and involvement in the lives of the people around them, INFJs may well have the clearest insights of all the types into the motivations of others, for good and for evil. The most important contributing factor to this uncanny gift, however, are the empathic abilities often found in Fs, which seem to be especially heightened in the INFJ type (possibly by the dominance of the introverted N function).
This empathy can serve as a classic example of the two-edged nature of certain INFJ talents, as it can be strong enough to cause discomfort or pain in negative or stressful situations. More explicit inner conflicts are also not uncommon in INFJs; it is possible to speculate that the causes for some of these may lie in the specific combinations of preferences which define this complex type. For instance, there can sometimes be a "tug-of-war" between NF vision and idealism and the J practicality that urges compromise for the sake of achieving the highest priority goals. And the I and J combination, while perhaps enhancing self-awareness, may make it difficult for INFJs to articulate their deepest and most convoluted feelings.
Usually self-expression comes more easily to INFJs on paper, as they tend to have strong writing skills. Since in addition they often possess a strong personal charisma, INFJs are generally well-suited to the "inspirational" professions such as teaching (especially in higher education) and religious leadership. Psychology and counseling are other obvious choices, but overall, INFJs can be exceptionally difficult to pigeonhole by their career paths. Perhaps the best example of this occurs in the technical fields. Many INFJs perceive themselves at a disadvantage when dealing with the mystique and formality of "hard logic", and in academic terms this may cause a tendency to gravitate towards the liberal arts rather than the sciences. However, the significant minority of INFJs who do pursue studies and careers in the latter areas tend to be as successful as their T counterparts, as it is *iNtuition* -- the dominant function for the INFJ type -- which governs the ability to understand abstract theory and implement it creatively.
In their own way, INFJs are just as much "systems builders" as are INTJs; the difference lies in that most INFJ "systems" are founded on human beings and human values, rather than information and technology. Their systems may for these reasons be conceptually "blurrier" than analogous NT ones, harder to measure in strict numerical terms, and easier to take for granted -- yet it is these same underlying reasons which make the resulting contributions to society so vital and profound.
Copyright © 1996-2005 by Marina Margaret Heiss and Joe Butt
Liadan Giolla Brighide
Truth, Wisdom, Learning, and Good Sense-these are worth paying for, but too valuable for you to sell.
Proverbs 23:23 GNB
- Location:Home
- Mood: contemplative
- Music:Law and Order Theme
former Methodist minister in Lakeside, Ohio, who
writes: "The following actual bumper stickers are now
on cars. I didn't write any of them. I'm only the
messenger. If they make you laugh, good. If they make
you cry, good."
AT LEAST IN VIETNAM, BUSH HAD AN EXIT STRATEGY
BLIND FAITH IN BAD LEADERSHIP IS NOT PATRIOTISM
IF YOU'RE NOT OUTRAGED, YOU'RE NOT PAYING ATTENTION
IF YOU SUPPORTED BUSH, A YELLOW RIBBON WON'T MAKE UP FOR IT
POVERTY, HEALTHCARE & HOMELESSNESS ARE MORAL ISSUES
OF COURSE IT HURTS: YOU'RE GETTING SCREWED BY AN ELEPHANT
BUSH LIED, AND YOU KNOW IT
RELIGIOUS FUNDAMENTALISM: A THREAT ABROAD, A THREAT AT HOME
BUSH SPENT YOUR SOCIAL SECURITY ON HIS WAR
PRO AMERICA, ANTI BUSH
WHO WOULD JESUS BOMB?
IF YOU SUPPORT BUSH'S WAR, WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE? SHUT UP AND SHIP
OUT
FEEL SAFER NOW?
I'D RATHER HAVE A PRESIDENT WHO SCREWED HIS INTERN THAN ONE WHO
SCREWED HIS
COUNTRY
JESUS WAS A SOCIAL ACTIVIST - THAT IS A LIBERAL
MY VALUES? FREE SPEECH. EQUALITY. LIBERTY. EDUCATION. TOLERANCE
IS IT 2008 YET?
DISSENT IS THE HIGHEST FORM OF PATRIOTISM -- Thomas Jefferson
DON'T BLAME ME. I VOTED AGAINST BUSH -- TWICE!
ANNOY A CONSERVATIVE; THINK FOR YOURSELF
VISUALIZE IMPEACHMENT
HEY BUSH! WHERE'S BIN LADEN?
CORPORATE MEDIA = MASS MIND CONTROL
STOP MAD COWBOY DISEASE
GEORGE W. BUSH: MAKING TERRORISTS FASTER THAN HE CAN KILL THEM
KEEP YOUR THEOCRACY OFF MY DEMOCRACY
DEMOCRATS ARE SEXY. WHOEVER HEARD OF A GOOD PIECE OF ELEPHANT?
ASPIRING CANADIAN
CORPORATE MEDIA: WEAPONS OF MASS DECEPTION
DON'T CONFUSE DYING FOR OIL WITH FIGHTING FOR FREEDOM
STEM CELL RESEARCH IS PRO LIFE
HATE, GREED, IGNORANCE: WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION
HONOR OUR TROOPS; DEMAND THE TRUTH
REBUILD IRAQ? WHY NOT SPEND 87 BILLION ON AMERICA?
FACT: BUSH OIL
1999 - $19 BARREL
2006 - $70 BARREL
THE LAST TIME RELIGION CONTROLLED POLITICS, PEOPLE GOT BURNED AT
THE STAKE
I'LL GIVE UP MY CHOICE WHEN JOHN ROBERTS GETS PREGNANT
